we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
