so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Its about making memories worth repressing
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
