I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
