so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
