I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
