I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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