I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
