Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Come share oat with me in your robe
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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