You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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