dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize