I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
