yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
