Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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