Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I think your dad took our porno
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize