no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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