You really coming over, don't trick.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
