Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
