Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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