He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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