So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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