So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
operation have a gay friend backfired
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
