It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
