My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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