fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
