I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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