Are we in a gay sports bar?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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