I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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