Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Randomize
