nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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