yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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