Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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