you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
