Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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