if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
