Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
