shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
