i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
