So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
