Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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