Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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