I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
