It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You made out with two different species that night
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
