I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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