he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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