I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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