Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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