Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
