this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Omg I joined a choir last night...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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