1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
