We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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