just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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