her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
All the doctor said was why
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
