Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
