Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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