ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Drake has all the answers
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
