wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
