he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
